Saunas are Disgusting

It rained a lot this morning. Rain always does something wired to the gym. It brings out only the soccer moms. The kids club was packed, so was the “Water Aerobic” and the “Zumba Cardio Dance” classes. But, the “Weight” and “Functional Training” areas (where I hang out) were empty.

It was similar to what I think heaven might be like. I got to spread out and didn’t have to fight over weights and machines or hear the disgusting sounds made by the muscle heads as they work on the their hernias. After a really good, but painful workout I went down stairs to the sauna.

Saunas are disgusting. Don’t get me wrong. I like saunas and the multitude of flabby hairy old men covered in sweat have never scared me away. But, like I mentioned earlier, the good parts of the gym were empty today so I got the sauna to myself. But, as I was stretching in the nice heat I noticed an old band aid between the wood slots on the bench. Yuck! It was kind of dark down there so I decided to take a better look. So, I turned on my phone and shined the light down there. OH MY WORD! You would not believe the crap stuck down in there. There were ear buds, gum, keys, wrappers, gum, gooey something (I couldn’t tell what it was), finger nail, more gum, and an earring.

All of it was covered in an oily, sweeting coating of some sort. It really made me wonder how often they pop the slots up to clean under there… Probably Never. Just something to think about the next time you go into a sauna.


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